Library News Blog

Library Quotes & Jokes

Love books and libraries?  We do too!  Here are some library quotes and jokes for your enjoyment.  If you have a funny quote or joke to add to the list, please let us know.

  • Librarian is a service occupation. Gas station attendant of the mind. -Richard Powers
  • Keep calm and call a librarian -Anonymous
  • Be nice to the archivist or she will erase you from history.  -Anonymous
  • [Librarians] are subversive. You think they’re just sitting there at the desk, all quiet and everything. They’re like plotting the revolution, man. I wouldn’t mess with them. -Michael Moore
  • Don’t join the book burners.  Don’t think you’re going to conceal faults by concealing evidence that they never existed.  Don’t be afraid to go in your library and read every book.  -Dwight D. Eisenhower
  • Librarians are good for circulation -Anonymous
  • Beauty is only a light switch away. -Graffiti in the Perkins Library of Duke University
  • Apparently even the librarians are death machines. -Stiletto by Daniel O’Malley
  • Should not the Society of Indexers be known as Indexers, Society of, The? -Keith Waterhouse
  • A truly great library contains something in it to offend everyone. -Jo Godwin
  • This is a library.  Kids and adventurers welcome.  All others stay out. -Dean Koontz
  • Our libraries are not cloisters for an elite.  They are for the people, and if they are not used, the fault belongs to to those who do not take advantage of their wealth. -Louis L’Amour
  • Libraries will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no libraries. -Anne Herbert
  • My two favorite things in life are libraries and bicycles.  They both move people forward without wasting anything. The perfect day: riding a bike to the library. -Peter Golkin